Envy....

I wish one day i will be able to talk about LV, PRADA, GUCCI and many other branded stuff. Perhaps the most branded thing that i ever got for myself just last year, was a PORTER pouch. Second most branded is an APPLE IPOD. Hahaha, when i hear my housemates talking about buying LV stuff here in Australia, i was thinking to myself, i am all about NUM, GIORDANO, BALENO and TOPMAN while they are all about FRED PARY, LV, ESPRIT, RIP CURL and all brands that you can think of. Haha perhaps the most precious thing that i have ever gotten for myself is a CELESTRON ASTROMASTER TELESCOPE which was at a sales price of 200 AUD.

So, if you ever want a rich friend who give materials during your birthday, don't find me, because i am still drawing birthday cards, fold paper stars and paper cranes..... they never cost more than 5 bucks....... i am still picking seashells and saga seeds, faggot i know but to me, that's my style of showing sincerity.......

Quote of the night.......

Bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, Zhi zai hu cheng jin yong you........ which is so very true for me, i hate to say that phrase, but i feel happier when i incorporate that into myself........... :) <--------- a false smile haahaa

Or perhaps just for a day....

When one person is drunk, every vision of his/her will be in perfection.... how's that? Anyway, reports after reports after reports piling up. Going to "kill" them one by one.

I will remember the day, 26th of august 2009, just that day. Perhaps the sweetest moment i felt and it was like i was dreaming...... or maybe a dream come true? I don't know. Neither for a season nor for life, but just for a day........

Got to get down to doing my reports, will see you guys soon or perhaps i am just talking to myself :)

Quote of the day....
Footprints are like memories. Where we walk, we leave our footprints, seen or unseen. The thing about memories is we can always return to where we left our "footprints" and feel yet again the same feelings felt as we set our foot on, the very first time. But sometimes, or perhaps most of the times, we return alone to where our footprints were left, feeling depressed...... But there is one place that you will never be alone, that's our home......where millions and millions of our footprints were left on the floor since the very first time we learn how to crawl......

For a season or for life??

I don't know what to say but i feel really weird about this..... i hope this is just a simple journey ahead, no complications and no hurdles. Seriously speechless, but i will let the "film" roll on its own and decide how everything will be like........

Quote of the night....

Try things out before passing comments or assumptions because most of the time, your guesses are completely wrong.

Losing it.....

I don't know but i have this feeling that i am losing myself to the "battle".... I am trying very hard to put up with all the emotional surges within me but i just couldn't hold it any longer. Everyday walking alive is like taking a bullet for each step i take..... sigh..... for how long will i stay this way, i really don't know. Just so much to worry about and things are not smooth at this part of my journey. I can just jump off the window next to my bed but someone is holding me back in my mind.....

Quote of the night.....

For the one you love, you will give your life away.....

The endless night..

Just you - By Ernest

Here i am in the room of despair,
Facing the sky of coruscating stars through the window.
I reach out to the shadows,
And nothing seems to be there.
I screamed my lungs out,
Hearing nothing but my fading echos.
I stared into the endless night,
Seeing nothing but my emotions.
With the hopes i held close to my heart,
every sun rise i see the light.
As i lay out my soul,
I see tears flowing out of my shimmering eyes.
In no one but you i feel the love,
For years to come i will stay right where i will always be,
By your heart...........


Quote of the night.......

The only happiness comes from yourself, make your choice....

Containing it......

Now in my room stoning away. Had a game of Command and Conquer Generals, boring i know but there are really nothing much to do over here. Perhaps that is why i kept thinking and missing someone, nothing serve as a distraction but having nothing to do just kept my mind busy thinking of someone. Couldn't help but yeah.

Taken in the lift to my unit. I like my hair the way it was in the picture.


How do i look? haha. The laboratory practicals have started, getting busier and busier with school works.

It feels terrible having to pretend to be happy when deep inside you are in a mess. Every time i try to smile at my friends, i do feel a sharp pain in me. Will i be able to smile and laugh truefully again? The nights are getting darker than usual.......

Quote of the night...

In life we always expect things to happen the way we want it to be. And so very often that it always happen in the unexpected manner. We will always question ourselves, why did it not happen the way we want it to? Instead of blaming the whole world, why don't we take a look at it in a different perspective. Just imagine, if everything were to happen the way you want it to, how would you feel? Let's say examinations, everyone wants to Ace the examinations and all got what they wanted. There will be NO failures at all. From this, we wouldn't know who are the elite people and who aren't. And we wouldn't hear stories of people who have failed before and became someone famous. Everyone will start to take things for granted because what they expected to have, they will have it so long as they want it. Through these unexpected events, we learn to be someone better and we learn to pick up virtues and characters along the way. If we didn't "fall" before, do you think we can be at where we are now? Something to think about.... without the wind, there will be no waves.... Many things in life needs to work in cohesion to see an effect...... it includes not just among people, but you yourself.... your moral values and characters.....

Holding on....

Many things happen for a reason, some are good and some are bad.... We don't know for sure the reliability of the reasons but i am sure that this time, it has gone from bad to worst. I am so lost right now, from an issue with love to an issue with my emotions and to the issue of a family crisis, all still on-going in me. I really don't know how long i can hold on in the midst of a thunder storm. I wonder how is it like to seek shelters under bridges, seek warmth from soil and seek water from sea...... I guess the army has taught me well on some survival tips. Waiting for the worst to come, seriously i am perplexed.

If only at any point of the night, i slipped into eternal repose....... i just want to say, be contented with what you already have because somewhere out there or even someone close to you may not have what you possessed. Some couldn't even ask for enough, what's more to asking for more? Most importantly, love your family more than you love anybody else, trust me, when troubles come to you, the first in the front line of the battle is always your family...... Think about it, when you are struggling with certain issues, who do you talk to? Friends are always the one that we seek for advices. This is the reason why we always thought that our family neglect us, it's simply because we fail to communicate our feelings to them. Reason being we can't seems to tell them our problems. Some kind of a barrier? I don't know.

When you find someone you love and who loves you, never let lose the opportunity, because you will never know when will be the next genuine love coming along........ For those who are still in school, study hard and draw inspirations from anything you feel a connection with, it could be a person or a dream. Motivate yourself and psych yourself up for the coming future and BELIEVE in yourself that you CAN do it. It's whether you WANT it or you don't.

For those who are in the working society, knowing that different job scope demands different responsibilities from us so never compare. Work not for the sake of money, but work for the sake of interest and your personal well being. You will be happier this way.

For those who are struggling with life in general, always remember you are not alone. We all know that a storm will never last forever but we aren't sure when it will subside either. Some times we wonder why must it happen to me, why not others? This is probably the fate and destiny of our life, i don't know. But we should be positive, through these hurdles and harsh conditions we are being put in, if we survive it, we will become a better and a stronger person. We WILL survive all that comes head on with us and things that does not kill you, makes you stronger.......

My advices do not work on me, sad to say but yeah somehow it doesn't have an effect on me. I do try to incorporate my own advices only if i think i am falling apart.

I am so very sorry..........my emotions are tearing me apart...........really really painful......

Quote of the night.....

Death is a boundary between 2 lifetime.....

The words from within....

A family photo....... Taken a few months before i flew over to Brisbane for studies. Looking at it always make me tear..... A moment of joy captured in time. The three closest family i would say, through tough times, through happiness and we are still here together stronger as ever. Have you ever look through your photo albums with family photos? What do you feel from it?

I am really scare to lose anyone close to my heart........ i have lost 2 loved ones when i was primary 2 and 3. Toughest time to get through. I managed to pull myself together but till now when i look into the night sky, i will think of them and tear silently. That is the reason why i hope i will depart this world before anyone does...... so i will watch over them from above :), this is me...... I know people would say, "what about them?" "They will be very sad to have you leave them too" i have thought through all these but still to me, i just hate to see people dying one by one in my very existence...... One thing for sure, for as long as i am still alive, i will make life as wonderful for all of them as possible.....this is my promise to them.........

Quote of the night.....

Crying in the day, the tears will deny you beautiful stars at night....... *whisper* "that is why i cry at night along with the stars :)"

Is the beaker half full or half empty? It doesn't mean that the one that sounds more appropriate is always correct, it's always good to have different perspectives in life which would make life so much wonderful to be in.....

The ability to touch has reach its limit but the ability to love will continue for as long as the existence of the universe......

State of unrest..

No pictures for today, don't think it's the right time. A lot have since happened to me when i was back in Singapore for the semester break and until now it's still happening. Some times i really wonder, what is it that people actually sees in me? Am i showing too much of my inner self or was it just purely the out-look that i have shown to people? What makes people think that this person is a good chap? What is the TRUE first impression that i have given to people? Can you tell how wonderful a person is by just looking through his/her pictures in Facebook? Or the things that the person could have posted in the wall of Facebook?

I myself don't even know my inner-self. I am so confused right now as to who i am truefully. I noticed so much of my unusual self lately that i am scared that i will turn into someone else. But as long as the flame in my heart still burns, i am still myself. For how long it will sustain, i don't have a clue.

People comment on what they see but fail to comprehend what they see. They fail to understand further on what's in-front of them. Passing comments here and there like as if they hit right on the dot when in fact they were far from being correct.

I am becoming skeptical about people's words. More than usual. Do you choose someone who loves you more than you love him/her or do you choose someone whom you love more than he/she loves you? Are we even suppose to measure the magnitude of love? Sadly in this generation of ours, love have since became "measurable"......when you tell someone you love him/her a lot and the reply is i can't love you more, this is a measurement of love. Always remember, it's not about how much you can give but how much you are WILLING to give. Some give more and some give less, but both are still a form of GIVING. We learn to give and take. The greatness of love comes when one give 20% while the other give 90% and yet they still love each other. There shouldn't be a point where one would say, "i should give 90% back to you because you gave 90% to me".....doesn't it sound like i don't owe you anything. This doesn't sound like love to me, it seems more like a form of return GRATITUDE, returning a favor kind of thing. Saying "i love you" to me will lock my heart just so only you are inside..... that's how powerful the 3 simple words can do to me......

Quote of the night.

Lost in the shadow of darkness, you don't see a light. Search from within, your flame of passion. Eventually you will know where you will be heading towards.

A glimpse of Kindness

This afternoon after the end of Physics laboratory activities, i boarded a bus and this guy who was sitting in front of me caught my attention. Not because of the way he was dressed.

There was this fellow schoolmate sitting beside him, she was with her friend. The bus was crowded and both of them were separated. This guy here actually offered to let his seat off to her friend so that they could be together. She said don't worry about it.

That girl was an Asian, to imply that there wasn't any form of biasness over here, if you know what i mean.

At first glance, perhaps people would be "amused" by the way he was dressed. To me, we are the same. Never judge a book by its cover..... These small act of kindness attracted me more than the way he was dressed. Do you think when you are in this situation, you would offer your seat away just so that two friends can be together? I don't think so. I know to many it's nothing big deal about it, but does it occur frequently or once in a blue moon? Something to think about. It's not how beautiful you are but how beautiful you are within.

This was my lunch, Chicken Teriyaki Don. Delicious but not the best. 6.50 AUD


I am still feeling emotional, can hardly breathe. But i believe soon it will be over....

Quote of the night from me, with pictures of course.

In life, some times we get what we want and some times we don't. Many times it's because we don't wish to go that extra mile to gain the full benefits of the journey. With that extra mile comes extra efforts and challenging tasks, experiencing the rain under shines of the sun, look what we have up there? The rainbow..... Pushing yourself through that extra mile, we get something that we don't see at all. It can be anything but definitely there are more than what we can get out of it, just like the pot of gold at the rainbow's end in myth........

That's about it and "every breath i take, is for you....."

Walking the path alone....

Hi, a very good morning to Singapore friends and a very good afternoon to Aussie friends. Anyway, here is what i had for yesterday's meals.

Here's my brekky, cereal together with milk and chocolate protein drink. Just imagine......

Lunch at Hungry Jack, in Singapore we call it Burger King. This is a large Double Whopper Meal, fries quantity is pathetic. I call this picture, Jack and the Physics Textbook. Alone "stranded" in Indooroopilly shopping centre munching away my meal n there goes 8.95 AUD into my stomach.

As for dinner, my friends and i decided to make Laksa. Oh man you got to see this and even try it out, it's delicious!

It looks a bit "extra-terrestrial", what a word. But trust me it's really tasty. This is the cooking process and TAAAAAADAAAAAA!

Laksa finished with a Strawberry in the heart of 3. Freaking delicious! Ingredients used were mixed seafood with mussels, squid, prawns and fish together with shredded chicken breast meat. This cost about 4.00 AUD per bowl.

The reddy came from this,

Doesn't they look sweet? They can brighten your day by just looking at it but not my day. It takes more than just these to brighten my always shrouded world.


Just like any other day, taking the bus to school. Sitting at the back listening to my ipod with the same ballads playing over and over again.

My heart is just like this bus, only a few people are in it. It's never always crowded because i believe that only special people truely resides within your heart. The lesser people there are, the less likely you will forget the people.

The sun shines with so much radiance but still my world is dark.


That's me, feeling emotional, every single day in my life. The same usual clothes i always wear to school, i call that my school uniform. Cool isn't it? Right......

So much was going on in my mind as i mouth the lyrics of the songs. I wished i wasn't like that.

How about a picture after school, in front of the mirror. There you go










I looked really empty in front of myself. And it looks like i
have a tummy :).
















And i forgot, the very first moment of the day, waking up :)
haha, i think i looked like a girl. Oh god..... btw that's "Orh Jiao", my bed birdie (buddy)...








To end this, quote of the moment from me..... with a picture

There are times the sun rules the sky, there are also times it doesn't. But the sun never gave up on giving light to earth. In life, there are times we rise like a star and there are times we fall like a shooting star, we can't be sure about what's installed for us in the future, but we are sure that our present actions may determine our path straight ahead of us. Never be complacent and never give up on hope...... have faith in yourself as well as in others......

And again, your presence rises with the stars.......

First of All...

There isn't any lectures for me today, here i am in the Interactive Learning Center a.k.a ILC using the computer to do up my blog.

Where should i start? I can only show you what had happened before and i will narrate as closely to the actual situations back then along with pictures to support my "claim". What for? Reasons unclear....

This is me in No.2 uniform, taken a few days after commissioning as an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces. In case you wonder was this taken in a studio? Nope, it was taken in my mother's room. (notice the bed-frame? haha)


A closer look at the sword....


Embedded on the Sword is my full name and the vocation that i was trained in back in 2007. There isn't much to talk about on it, most of the "adventures" happened during the course of training as an Alpha cadet and an Armour cadet.

This Sword has the rank, the name and the vocation, but it does not bear the tough times our section, our platoon and our company had been through.

I will always remember how it was like back then. Those were the days....

I guess this is a good start in trying out the features of blogspot. That's all folks, take care and stay happy always.

The very first Touch...

This is my very first electronic blog, most of the time i pen my feelings down on diaries because i don't "understand" the computer well enough to do "magic".

What leads me here is perhaps wanting myself to be heard out there, or perhaps to attract attentions, or perhaps to try out on this cool stuff (when it's like here for so long -.-""), or perhaps to dump my memories into the cyber space, or just simply because..... i will keep quiet for now.

Now in a foreign land, to achieve the goals of my purpose here in Brisbane was always thought to be an impossible dream. But it happened, probably not on the right time or it shouldn't even be the case. Now that this "accident" has happened, i can't do anything but to walk this lonely path, as it has always been for me.

This is the beginning of my second semester over here in University of Queensland, was back in Singapore for a month school holiday and things weren't as fulfilling as i thought it would be when on-board the plane destinated for Singapore Changi Airport on the 21st of June 2009. Just when you thought you are back to your hometown, it was actually the very beginning of your worst nightmare, perhaps it isn't the worst but as far as i am concern, it was.

I will "colorize" the out-lined picture just so that my life ain't as vague as the titles of storybooks.

What's the true purpose of blogging at this present stage of our life? Some people blog to impress, some blog just like keeping diaries, some blog to advertise certain product, some blog to kill time and many more. My very true reason of blogging is hoping that someone out there would hear me, who understand the position i am in at this very present moment of my life and far into the future as well, who would actually read "wordy" blogs rather then being pictures orientated. Although picture speaks of a thousand words, how true is that? But to sparks some interest, picures will be uploaded.

For now, that's all folks and with someone constantly in mind, i would end this very first blog with," your presence appears with the stars."