Bleeding away.....

I was watching Marley and Me on my lappy a while ago. Have anyone watched it before? I cried, as usual.... full of emotions and sentimental values that came out from the show extending from families to personal well-beings. Apart from being touched by the show, somehow i do feel that i need warmth..... especially at this period of time overseas. But i know there are many things that are not within my power to do so......

Housemates are out again, clubbing and enjoying life, no worries at all. Their worries are about finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend, worrying about their image..... many more that i couldn't comprehend. They are 4 years older than me..... i feel like i am supposed to be their age and they be mine age instead.....

Was feeling down a while ago and sang out loud in the toilet while clearing my bowels, nothing unusual about me, that's what i always do..... hiding in a more confined area tends to limit the amount of thinkings going on in my mind.... i see it that way which might not seems to be logically.....

Seriously, i wonder will i be able to survive through honours year which begins next year....i am not very much affected by the amount of school works i have.... Since secondary school, i always would like to be in a english country and i always like the characteristics of "ang mohs", i always want to learn to speak like them and be able to possess their abilty to socialize at ease..... I being in Australia is really a fulfillment of some of my little wishes. With the natural influences here coupled with my "likings", i find it hard to retain myself......

I am sick over here, down with allergenic asthma, perhaps due to the cold weather as well as the dust in my room. Seems to have a throat infection, maybe some bacteria infection or it could be influenza infection. My flu is killing me, has been on since last week..... everyday since the start of school, i am always awakened 30 minutes or an hour before my alarm sounds off..... i guess something is wrong with and my dreams have been really really weird, seems to be suggesting a certain emotional situation that i am in...... Though highly unlikely, perhaps i will leave a few "words" here just in case if anything should happen to me in my sleeps. As we all know, life by its very own nature is tough, biologically, we have to fight off infections and develop symptoms during the fight. Business-ly, we have work hard to get a job and secure it. Personally, we have to feed our family and take care of one another. Then we have friends and what they truely are for, is still a big question yet to be answered. Accept the fact that friends can be a burden at times, accept the fact that friends can also be the one who destroy your future, accept the fact that friends can be your greatest influence and change you from inside out, accept the fact that not all friends are forever...... We can NEVER understand what's in the minds of others except for our own. Nothing in life comes without a price, apart from those whose parents are well off to be able to provide luxury to their children. What you percieved at first sight, isn't necessary always the true side of a story.....We are all humans, we have our own dark secrets, some obvious and some not so. None of us can safely, without attracting controversy, be able to say, "i am pure and innocent from the day i was born". Be accepting of people's flaw and mistakes, chances are given and as many times as you wished to give... I am happy to be where i am now, who i am, what i am and all that i have, even though it's not much but i can simply say, i am fortunate..... no matter how tough a situation is, there is always a way to solve it..... humans tend to think so far into the future without taking into consideration how flickered minded we are. If you are planning for your future 10 years down the road, you are planning it with a mind of your current age. By the time you hit X+10 years, with that aged mind, it would have changed by then. Alot can happened within that 10 years. People can be so sure that whatever that's pen-ed down in black and white will truely reflects the exact reality.... Don't behave arrogantly because one day you will realise that u are in a 1 man battle against the world..... so much to write and so little time to spill them out......... tired...

Quote of the night.....
It's meaningless to know this feeling without understanding it.......