Hanging between 2 dimensions....

When i was young, i am inspired to be good in English, because my English was really bad when i was in primary and secondary school. I am always very attracted to the western culture, their degree of openness and mindset.

Now that i am here in Brissie, i feel that i have fallen in love with this place and at the same time, being an A**H**E, i love Singapore too. What a word to describe myself :P

I can't explain the emotions i have right now, thinking that i am leaving here, for Singapore, i have this " i can't bear to leave" feelings in me. Although alot, ALOT of things had happened for this semester, it is by far, the most dramatic experience than the last semester. But of course, i am happy :)

The impossibles have happened and i was kinda shocked. I always thought that those kind of "events" wouldn't occur to me, but it did and it actually brought me away from the idea that that's all just a fairytale event or only in the movies, you will get to see it happening......

A lot of things have happened and some times, no matter how hard i try to explain my emotions and thoughts, it doesn't seems to make a lot of sense to people around me. But trust me, i ain't trying to avoid an existing problem, i am trying to tell the truth about my feelings and i am communicating with my emotions and at the same time, making the best choice out of the limited choices i have.

I always believe in love, that's how it will always be......... but perhaps at times, priorities in our life do change based on different situations. It doesn't mean that in love, it's always about 24/7, the idea of mature love didn't come to me until i am here...... i learn that the idea of control is not the best way to keep someone yours. In a mature love relationship, even without the need to lay out the rules, we should know it clearly that what are the various things that when done, will "disturb" the promised bond between 2 person. Even without the need to text everyday, both knows that each other is safe and still love you.......

From my friend, Kristine's point of view in her love, is freedom with self made restraints on certain actions. She told me how devastated she is in her relationship and i feel her. A very nice and sweet girl, if i were the guy, i would give my all to her......... somehow, her idea of love and mine seems to "ride" on the same basis of "maturity"........

As for me, when love comes, it doesn't always mean it will be the right one and it doesn't always mean if i miss this, it might not come anymore. Would you rather try something that will work for a long period of time, with deep understandings or rush into something and hoping that it will turn out well....... I have done that and never will i do that again........not that i have lost confidence in love or in people, it's just that i am fighting against this "writer's block" in me.....

Quote of the night.....

The only thing powerful enough to demoralize oneself is you, yourself.......