Time flies...... *abit too fast*

In about 5 days time, i will be back in Singapore yet again. Every return seems to be emotionally "heavier" then before. Am i supposed to be happy or am i suppose to feel upset? So confusing! Things are getting bad to worst and at this age of mine, why does it feel like i am already a "full-blown" adult settling family issues, financial issues and career issues? The key word is "settling" not experiencing, 2 very different scenario. I am still a student!

Looks like my youth period has ended since like 8 years ago? Damn! I hasn't really been enjoying myself since then! *unsatisfied* haha Well if life has to be this way, what is there to do about it than just live through and take on every challenges that come along.

Of every other days, but during my exam period, all that have to reach my ears. Last 2 semesters, also the same things, on my exams! What? A head up for what i am in for when i immediately touch down? I thought i am busy enough with all these Uni stuff and now what?

Maybe i should consider Missing-In-Action as a way out. Make it next year then.

I am beginning to realise that i am losing myself to this battle with the devil in me. Stuck between the parallel plane between the Good and the Evil. Probably i might prevail more being evil hahahahaha However, whether or not a person is good or evil depends upon the people around him/her. NOT everyone will think this person is good and NOT everyone will think this person is evil too. Fair shares of the agonist and the antagonist.

My housemates are competing with each other over being able to captivate someone's heart, much like a "fling" kinda game. While they are doing that, i am struggling with issues back home. Do you guys see the drastic difference in the atmosphere over here? It is making my atmosphere that is bad enough to worst. Same age and one is older. Well, absolute seclusion from their influence.

I am being very positive, i don't put on a sulky face and speak to people or walk the streets. I say hi to strangers more than before and i smile even when i don't feel i have the mood to. I remain calm and cheerful in front of my housemates and i do talk to them trying to fit into their atmosphere. But, being this positive doesn't shun the negative things apart, by the aspects of physics, "like charge repel and unlike charge attracts", so when there are positive things, there are bound to be negative ones, that's a balance between both.

I listen to music which my housemates think are crappy. Songs like "return to innocence" "hymn to the sea (titanic soundtrack)" and "Only time". Trying to really keep myself together, trying really really hard and one word, it is hard.

Gym and gym and gym as usual, everyday to take one hour off the clock and spare myself from all the thoughts. It is helpful to a certain extend but doesn't provide much comfort.

I silently pray to the gods, any gods who hear me, to show me at least a path that i can see. All that appears in my dream are what seems real and imminent. True enough it is.......

Quote of the night...

Many things are planned, no matter how well you avoid, it will come back to you....