At this point our path merged as one...

Time flies and a week is over since i flew back to Singapore. Quarrels, sorrows and anger feels this home of mine. Would i say it is over or all these are just the beginning? I have no idea at all. One after another, first my sister and now my turn to be sick yet still be able to walk and talk but of course, uncomfortable moments were still when i was on bed trying to get some sleeps. There is this Angel always beside me, whose actions and motions were felt by me and seen by my very own eyes, was it a dream or is it real? True enough, it is real and the temperature was "carried" away by this care and love that was and is given by this person. You know who you are :) love you.

Condominium, Huskeys, car and career...... none is actually on my priority list, simply because, all these are superficial and items or rather objects (aren't they the same? haha), you are important than all these that i need :). First person whom i have shown the stars and Venus to, first to take a stroll in the park across and back on the Henderson Bridge, first to enjoy a "candle lit" dinner at Sapphire Restaurant and of course, the first to ever hold my hands throughout the car journey to where ever our destination is, first to really take care of me when my temperature soar above 39 degree celsius..... and probably the only one who said, "why need a second car when we can share one?" hahahaha frightening yet sweet enough to melt me away even in winter :).

I miss you alot and all the times that we have spent so far..........

Quote of the night....

Sometimes it ain't about love at the very first moment but affections that way precedes the idea of love that eventually give rise to a long lasting kind of love......

Time flies...... *abit too fast*

In about 5 days time, i will be back in Singapore yet again. Every return seems to be emotionally "heavier" then before. Am i supposed to be happy or am i suppose to feel upset? So confusing! Things are getting bad to worst and at this age of mine, why does it feel like i am already a "full-blown" adult settling family issues, financial issues and career issues? The key word is "settling" not experiencing, 2 very different scenario. I am still a student!

Looks like my youth period has ended since like 8 years ago? Damn! I hasn't really been enjoying myself since then! *unsatisfied* haha Well if life has to be this way, what is there to do about it than just live through and take on every challenges that come along.

Of every other days, but during my exam period, all that have to reach my ears. Last 2 semesters, also the same things, on my exams! What? A head up for what i am in for when i immediately touch down? I thought i am busy enough with all these Uni stuff and now what?

Maybe i should consider Missing-In-Action as a way out. Make it next year then.

I am beginning to realise that i am losing myself to this battle with the devil in me. Stuck between the parallel plane between the Good and the Evil. Probably i might prevail more being evil hahahahaha However, whether or not a person is good or evil depends upon the people around him/her. NOT everyone will think this person is good and NOT everyone will think this person is evil too. Fair shares of the agonist and the antagonist.

My housemates are competing with each other over being able to captivate someone's heart, much like a "fling" kinda game. While they are doing that, i am struggling with issues back home. Do you guys see the drastic difference in the atmosphere over here? It is making my atmosphere that is bad enough to worst. Same age and one is older. Well, absolute seclusion from their influence.

I am being very positive, i don't put on a sulky face and speak to people or walk the streets. I say hi to strangers more than before and i smile even when i don't feel i have the mood to. I remain calm and cheerful in front of my housemates and i do talk to them trying to fit into their atmosphere. But, being this positive doesn't shun the negative things apart, by the aspects of physics, "like charge repel and unlike charge attracts", so when there are positive things, there are bound to be negative ones, that's a balance between both.

I listen to music which my housemates think are crappy. Songs like "return to innocence" "hymn to the sea (titanic soundtrack)" and "Only time". Trying to really keep myself together, trying really really hard and one word, it is hard.

Gym and gym and gym as usual, everyday to take one hour off the clock and spare myself from all the thoughts. It is helpful to a certain extend but doesn't provide much comfort.

I silently pray to the gods, any gods who hear me, to show me at least a path that i can see. All that appears in my dream are what seems real and imminent. True enough it is.......

Quote of the night...

Many things are planned, no matter how well you avoid, it will come back to you....

An expired seasonal pass......

So it seems, the revertant nature of long distance love still prove to be "prevalent". Revertant would mean from a state of euphoria (context of love) to a state of complete lost (like how many or perhaps a few single souls would be). Perhaps all these are expected outcomes given the slight details obtained from close observations, it is pretty obvious though. Anyway, that's over and now for a new beginning but before that, i would perhaps illustrate my title as to why "an expired seasonal pass".

Perhaps most of you might have more or less got the meaning of it. Love like friends, they DO come at one moment and gone the next. We generally termed them as seasonal friends. Like in the laboratory i am working in, those colleagues are what i called seasonal friends, in about a yr and a half time, i will leave this place. They may remember me or they may not given the fact that we meet so many people in a single day. That's how things work. For sure, i wouldn't forget them simply because i don't have many friends to remember. Many would mean probably a thousand (exaggerating).

So, i was handed this "pass" and it expired just recently. That's life and this is how i cope with it; think through it for a moment, reflect on it and forget about it. This is not always successful depending on the magnitude of emotions that i have put into.

There have been very nice friends who occasionally "sprinkle" their presence on my FB walls and it DOES make me feel cared for even if it wasn't meant that way, certainly it has given me some form of strength to move on with life. You know who you are and i am thankful for all that presence you guys gave me, even here on my blog.

When you are all alone in your world, discovery of life in general seems to be more reliable as compared to having an "extra" commitment apart from your job as a son or a father (pretty clear on what i am refering to). I may be wrong but it seems to be that this is how it is.

Feel so stuck between reality and virtuality, so which is which? The once clear distinct line between the extremes seemed to have merge as one. Maybe, afterall, fairytales are just a written story based on our own imagination on the best outcomes created for each story. As naive as i can be, i still bear hopes on this one day that fairytales are actually true accounts of love that never ends.......

I came to realise one thing as well, it doesn't just take 2 hands to clap but on-lookers to refrain from "dissatisfaction". Shall not comment any further on this. My point is simple, treasure what comes to you that you feel your instinct is right about. When something passes you by, it MIGHT be the last.

Quote of the night....

Bearing the cold weather with the icy tempest in my heart
Setting up the shield of solitude against the radiance of the sun
I cast the memories far into the abyss
Leaving no trace of the past flowing in between.......